Electromagetic Cereals

Electromagnetic Cereals

07/07/01: For immediate release
Keywords: tasty comestible morning brekky

Our engineers at Electromagnetic Networks Laboratories accidentally woke up before noon, and uncharacteristically decided to have a solid first meal of the day. Imagine their horror when they discovered that the only sources of calories in the laboratory were either booze or things that could be mixed with booze! Undaunted, they quickly rushed to the store to obtain less alcoholic food.

Due to an error in planning, they inadvertently went to a whole grains store instead of the supermarket, and purchased 21 bushels of assorted oats and grains instead of premanufactured cereals before discovering their mistake. Nonetheless, our scientists were driven by hunger to complete their self-appointed task of creating breakfast delights. [Well, it helped that if the various grains were not used for research purposes, our engineers would have to pay for it out of pocket. The fact that they briefly lost hope and each had 3 pints of Guinness for breakfast also helped, uh, inspire them.]

Without further ado, we at Electromagnetic Networks would like to announce the imminent release of our latest product series: Electromagnetic Cereals!

Cocoa Chown: As we like to say, here at Electromagnetic Networks, "Own your own box!"
Suid r00t Crunch: Make breakfast the most important meal of the day!
Cap'n Cron: Part of a complete daily breakfast! Make yourself a note: 0 8 * * * /usr/local/bin/capn-cron
Paul's Vixie Bites: BINDs to your mouth, not to your spoon!
UNIX Bits: With marshmallow sbin directories! Learn about the difference between binaries and superuser binaries at breakfasttime! ¹
Grep Nuts: Find your way to start a healthy day!

Note 1: Free in every box of UNIX Bits is a patch against GNU ls to add a new option, --marshmallow !

As part of the massive media blitz surrounding our entry into the breakfast food market, Electromagnetic Networks will be touring the globe, with taste tests coming soon to a city near you! The first stop on our tour will be Innsmouth, Massachusetts, USA.

Comments on this Document
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No Comments?
by WinterSolstice () on 09/07/2001 at 13:42 (#1)
Why no comments? This is great! If topfive did something like this, they'd tout it for months!

-WS

Forgot one.
by Innsmouth Chamber of Commerce () on 09/07/2001 at 17:45 (#2)
You forgot to mention "Root Kit". "Root Kit" consists of a pair of scissors, a bowl and spoon. Now you can hack your favorite breakfast cereal. "Look ma, I'm 3l33t!"

One more
by Jogar () on 09/07/2001 at 23:48 (#3)
Multi-Grain Perls
If you can't interpret the list of nutrients this power-packed box of goodness brings to the table, don't worry! It has them ALL!