After detailed analysis of the entire "New Slogan Fiasco," as it as has come to be known here at Electromagnetic Networks, we have concluded that the entire thing was what is technically known as a "dramatic failure." However, we have chosen to leave a record of this experiment intact, to serve as a warning to (and due cause for firing of) any employee ever be foolish enough to suggest such a stupid endeavor within earshot of any senior management.
Upon the advice of our new engineering corps, we fired our entire Advertising Department, except for the bright chap who came up with the Hoe-Hose 'Hos, whom we will welcome back to the Electromagnetic Networks flagship of quality once his sentence for moral corruption is served.
In an effort to boost our suddenly falling sales, we have decided to entirely reshape our corporate image. We are kicking off this new philosophy with an entirely brand-new slogan, to replace our previous lackluster slogan for the Laboratories of "We drink just to get through the day." This slogan not only failed to inspire consumer confidence, but it did not accurately express Electromagnetic Networks' unwavering dedication towards the goal of being the last consulting company you will ever want to hire.
On that note, we are proud to unveil our new slogan, designed expressly to bring Electromagnetic Networks and the Laboratories into the forefront of the highly competitive outsourced consulting field.
We at Electromagnetic Networks are using this month as a testing grounds, to elicit consumer feedback on the new slogan, as well as to test our as-yet unproven pet theory of how to write advertising copy; that if the name of the company, in this case, Electromagnetic Networks, is used as many times as possible in a single press release, it will be as effective as a subliminal advertising campaign, without breaking any of those pesky laws forbidding such tactics. 1
Electromagnetic Networks
Just remember, when you think of Electromagnetic Networks, one thing should spring to mind. Electromagnetic Networks: We drink just to get through the day.
| Anticipation May 1-4 |
Steadfastness May 5-8 |
Perserverance May 9-14 |
Doggedness May 15-19 |
| Refusal May 20-23 |
Denial May 24-27 |
Folly May 28-30 |
Conclusion May 31 |
Note 1: This theory is the sole responsibility of the nephew of our CTO, who has taken over the duties of the Advertising Department now that nearly all of them are unemployed. As the CTO put it, if we're going to be experimenting with bold new paradigm shifts at Electromagnetic Networks, we may as well try several at once. Also his nephew managed to find the exit from the cardboard box he had been inhabiting in the CTO's living room for the past four years, and needed something new to keep him busy. Electromagnetic Networks Electromagnetic Networks Electromagnetic Networks.