A nice little ditty about the joys of being a systems and hardware hacker.

The Twelve Days of Hacking
to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of hacking,
My system gave to me
A segfault from Apache.

On the second day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the third day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the fourth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the fifth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the sixth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the seventh day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Seven system failures,
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the eighth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Eight memory leaks,
Seven system failures,
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the ninth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Nineteen kilovolts,
Eight memory leaks,
Seven system failures,
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the tenth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Ten open sockets,
Nineteen kilovolts,
Eight memory leaks,
Seven system failures,
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the eleventh day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Eleven dB crosstalk,
Ten open sockets,
Nineteen kilovolts,
Eight memory leaks,
Seven system failures,
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

On the twelfth day of hacking,
My system gave to me
Twelve kernel panics,
Eleven dB crosstalk,
Ten open sockets,
Nineteen kilovolts,
Eight memory leaks,
Seven uplink failures,
Six inodes lost,
Five root exploits,
Four stale pointers,
Three dropped packets,
Two seek failures,
And a segfault from Apache.

You do not exist. Go away.

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